family · knitting · socks

a moment to shine.

There’s nothing inherently super special about these socks, as they are just another pair of plain vanilla Fish Lips Kiss Heel socks. But the yarn was bought at Romni Wools in Toronto at Christmastime with my dear friend and spending the day with her, laughing and reminiscing about old times was priceless. Every single time I wear these socks, I will think of that day.

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I hopped on a VIA train at 6am to make it into Toronto’s Union station for 9am. Croissants and coffee for breakfast. The best avocado scrambler I have ever had for lunch and a trip back at dusk on the same train. I got home (to my in-laws house) that night at 9:30pm. My mother-in-law had lent me her precious Mustang to take to the station, which meant the world to me, and I was spent: Tired, hungry and emotionally done.

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It was the most magical day. And for that reason, these socks deserve a moment to shine.

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Pattern :: Fish Lips Kiss Heel by Sox Therapist

Yarn :: Phildar Phil Folk 100 in colour Comete (100) and Regia My First Regia in colour 01002 White

Needles :: 2.25mm ChiaGoo Red Lace, magic loop

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I find the memories of the past 4 years overwhelming when I think about our trips to Toronto. There has been so much joy and happiness when we travel to see friends and family, but there has also been much sadness and mourning for family and friends lost.

My day with my dear friend was closure we both needed and new beginnings. The last time we were together was at her husband’s funeral after his battle with leukemia. My husband and I were one of the close supports through that time – we would chat on the phone late into the night while I was working night shifts because during the middle of his treatment, he was hospitalised and awake most of the time.

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He and I would talk about end-of-life, care and comfort, treatments, anger and acceptance, denial … We talked about these things because the four of us knew he wouldn’t survive. No one else would have those conversations with him so while I took a break from my work, as a bedside nurse to trauma patients (30% of whom lose their lives in our unit) and Master’s prepared in End-of-Life, he would talk. And I would cry inside for my dear friend who would be a widow one day at 29 years old.

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And then we had this day in December. And we laughed. Cried. Reminicsed. And healed. Our friendship moved forward into present day – the life she is building. Our life with our children.We have so much to be thankful for and it feels wonderful to see my friend looking to the future, talking about life instead of cancer.

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So these socks are pretty super stinking special.

Until next time,

r.

10 thoughts on “a moment to shine.

  1. Isn’t it wonderful how so many complex emotions, memories and meanings can all be contained or evoked by one knitted item? It’s one of the things about making something by hand that really intrigues me.

    Somehow the basic repetition of knitting as well as its intricacy absorbs and communicates how the painful and the joyful, the loss and the creation, the repetitive and the remarkable, all mix together and interconnect in our lives. Those socks certainly deserve some reflection and attention.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Rachel, this is indeed a lovely pair of socks which deserve a moment to shine. But your post touched me very deeply as I too, four years ago, lost my husband of thirty four years to melanoma and secondary brain tumors. It was an incredibly difficult time and I wish there had been somebody like you around to help us through the pain and the silence. What a very special skill you have.

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    1. Thank you for sharing about your husband. These difficult, dark times of loss are so rarely talked about and we so often suffer and mourn in silence. I often think about the dark cloud that follows is around during those times and then little by little, inch by inch, it starts to lift and suddenly, it’s a little sunnier and I little lighter. Hugs.

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  3. Rachel, Thank you for this beautiful post. Dear friends of mine recently lost a teenage son and I am preparing to travel and visit with them soon. I know the knitting that I take with me on this trip will have strong emotions attached to it so to see your socks shine with such special meaning tugs at my heart. Thank you for sharing this.

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